and sometimes you're amazed...

It is now 2010, (and it will be 2011 before it is all said and done, so far this little diatribe has taken 3 weeks  to write. Mainly because of the subject. I do not claim to do her justice; because words are not enough for her scope and her, I shall say soul and I say that because well...)

then it was 1971...

First class 10th grade, me a 15 year old guy, tall skinny and unruly hair. Her thin, strawberry blond and hot pants. The attraction was...well, automatic.

She invited me home for snacks after school one day and I could not say no. I went to her house and found her father lounging on the couch as we went into her room. There were tunes and pot and conversation that went on for hours, then hunger struck. We ate peanut butter toast, Fritos and lemon-aid. While telling jokes and stories there was a noise at the front door. Little did I know, the closest friend I would ever have was coming through that door.

Call her Mom, Rae, G-ma or as I grew to know and love her simply "MA", she was the most incredible woman I will probably ever meet. Here was this woman who, no thanks to an "unavailable" husband (glug glug), raised 5 children and ran a house, all on a "fixed income", see, she was a manager for the phone company.

She seemed to take only one quick look at me before she said "hey you; wait a minute" or something along those lines, anyway I stopped, turned and walked toward her. My first lesson was about to begin. 'Don't go around with your head down, you can't see anything that way'. she then went to the fridge for some dinner for the kids.

 On the way home I did what "Ma" said and walked  with my head up and found myself walking a little bit taller and thinking about this Lady I had just met, and pondering; just who is this Lady.
My relationship with her youngest daughter grew, and my awe of "Ma" also grew. I spent more and more of my afternoons in this house and time flew by.
The daughter and I did a lot of things that were less than legal, though never wrong, with me sort of trying to hide these things from Ma. What a waste of time that turned out to be, she seemed to know everything and more importantly she knew what was important, sort of separating the wheat from the chafe.
For reasons that I still do not understand she took a decided interest in me and what I thought; how I saw things ,and just as importantly why. This was the first person who seemed to care about the root of what made me who I was and as it turned out who I was to become.
One day I went to her house, when I knew her kids would not be there, so that we could have a talk. This, little did I realize, was a walk through a door I would look forward to walking through  for the next 30+ years. We talked and talked, about things and nothings and MY GOD could she laugh (some times from her shoes) but she could also argue. Well it does take two to tango, and it also takes two to argue.
And argue we did though NEVER, well almost never, in anger. Arguing seemed to be the thing that I could give to her that nobody else could. Such a small gift to give to the LADY that gave me so much. We would argue over politics (though we were both true BLUE Demos), we would argue over the way her sons acted when we ran out of things to argue over; but the one thing, the one big thing we would argue over was the PHONE COMPANY!
She was one of the last true "BELL SHAPED HEADS" and I was, and still am, a dirt worshiping tree huger who is anti and non trusting of corporate America. It was with this little difference of opinion we had the most fun, my God was it fun.
 It seems that we were both right so there could be no winner and more importantly there could be no looser, there was just fun dialogue.
Well it had to happen and one day we ran out of thing to say, for or against, the PHONE COMPANY  and she told me that "You don't work for the phone company and so you don't know the phone company so I don't want to hear another word from you about it!" OK then.
I had another 40 hour a week job that I didn't care one way or another about when I saw in the paper that the PHONE COMPANY was hiring. Well I said to myself "This is an opportunity" and picked up the phone.
About a whole year later they called and being a Veteran they hired me pretty quick.
A few months went by and I had gotten the hang of the whole "tel-co" way of doing things so I went back to "Ma's" table and said pretty as you please "So what do you think about this FU*%ing phone company?!" Knowing she had no where to go, she smiled and looked at me and said, for the first time, "Fuck". This was the first of many secrets that "Ma" and I would share over the coming years.


I have so many memories and stories about "Ma" and I would truly love to share them with you now but this is running a bit long, so maybe next time I'll tell you about "stems and seeds" or...

...or sometimes you wonder

I was talking the other day about our current situation, that being the "haves" and the "have nots" and the battle that rages between them. It seems that the "haves" feel they earned what they have and should not have it taken from them nor be told to give it away! Strange for me to say, but I agree. The people who earned what they have are entitled to keep it. Though I might ask "Just how much is enough?" (on a side note the Getty and the Vanderbilt families that "made" the money are gone and the heirs are in charge.)
On the other side are the folks who, for what ever reason, chose to work for them with the hopes that if they gave their time and effort to enrich the company they would, in their later years, share in the prosperity of the company's wealth, so we have our two sides.


The workers united saying we will not work for you if you don't support us. The companies went along with this idea, grudgingly, for a while. After all, the more things cost to make the more they would charge, and it worked for a while. 
The bosses on neither side would see nor care what was down the road for their people, they wanted it all now. The "unions" got the wages and benefits for their people and the companies got their profits (from less workers) for their people (the share holders) and there was a truce. Alas after a while the companies sent the jobs to where they could get the biggest bang for the buck (generally off shore) so they could cut their costs. The workers were let go and the first domino fell.
Then other companies, (hospitals, banks and such) said they needed more money "to stay afloat" because of the influx of people who were unemployed and could no longer pay for services.  They turned to the Government.
Anyone could see that this could not end well.
Neither anticipated that the cause of the conflict might cease with, or even before, the conflict itself should cease. Each looked for an easier triumph, and a result less fundamental and astounding.
Strange thing though, with less workers on the payroll there were less people to buy the "widgets". Sales (deemed profits) started to sag.  With more people off the payroll there were more folks claiming relief and so the welfare costs started to grow. No problem for the companies because that was a government's problem (so far).
Now comes the new dilemma, The Government. When we were talking 13 colonies this was a small problem, but with 50 states and a few hundred million people this becomes a big problem FAST.  We still have the same two sides and they are still arguing about the same things, haves and have nots.  So many jobs are gone from the market because of both job loss - companies folding, and greed- jobs sent away, the government has to do something. Nobody on either side is listening to the other because "it's their fault!" Rep's want more money for their side, after all they earned it, and the Dem's crying out for the displaced because they can't (or maybe won't) get a job.
 It is a no win scenario, see the government has no money either, they gave it all to the companies (and a war or two) to keep them afloat. The only thing they can do is ask the boss for a raise but the boss is US and the rep's  say "no way!" live within your means. So we sit and watch as our country goes in the tank. If we could only go over seas and get some support from our allies! Dang their economy was relying on ours, ours being so strong and all, they are in the tank too.
 Now we have two sides both "right" but both to blame. The companies were entitled to what they earned and so were the workers. The problem is that the economy cannot support them both. 
Had the company shared the windfall from the savings of "off shore labor" and had the unions agreed to a bit more of cost sharing, looking forward to the greater good, With malice toward none; with charity for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation's wounds,to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace, among ourselves, and with all nations this might not have been that big of a problem.
We had a great nation and we can again have a great nation if we remember that we were

conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal...and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
The problem is that the government has chosen to save the companies rather than the workers, hoping that the companies will share the winnings with the workers alas I for one have never seen this happen, ie:
Levi's sent their manufacturing to Mexico - the cost of a pair of jeans still went up.
Toyota built plants in Mississippi and Alabama - but paid non union wages and benefits and sent the income back "home" to Japan
The concept that we are all in this together seems to be lost, I don't know where it went but we should  find it fast or else...


Maybe it's time to do away with the two party system and go with a one party system where everyone stands on their own merit without the backing of a partisan party.

BOLD PRINT QUOTED FROM Mr. ABRAHAM LINCOLN circa 1863

WTF 2

So I'm getting things ready to do a Sauce demo ( sartainsmenu.com ) and I find I am out of gallon Baggies that I use to marinate the meat, chicken thighs and pork steaks, so I scoot on down to the grocery store and get another box. So far so good.

I put the chicken in one of the bags and pour in THE MARINADE, that's when I find out that the baggie will not close. It seems that when it was made the "zip-lock" parts didn't line up so they would not zip! So now I have this gallon baggie FULL of boneless skinless chicken thighs and MARINADE that I  can't close. Because the baggie has a pointed bottom it can't stand up so I fumble around in the drawers for a bowl big enough to handle gallon of parts.

This is when I find out that ALL OF THE BAGGIES ARE THE SAME! None of them will close. Well it's back to the grocery store, though this time it is a different one, for more baggies.

Now that I have all of my parts in their baggies and ready for the big show at Oliver's Market, who are now carrying THE SAUCE and THE MARINADE, I can get on the net and see what GLAD has to say about my problem.

I sent them a note about the 'one gallon zip-lock storage bags' that would not close and their reply was a clue that this would not bode well...

October 7, 2010

Reference Number: 6333422

Dear Mr. Sartain,

Thank you for contacting us about your Glad Freezer Bags. We always appreciate hearing from our customers. 

We're sorry to hear about your experience with our product. Please be assured that this is very unusual and we would not expect this to occur. We are happy to send a coupon and you should receive it within 7-10 business days. We certainly hope you will continue to use and have confidence in our products. 

Again, thank you for contacting us. 

Sincerely,

Amelia Miller

Consumer Response Representative

Consumer Services

OK they're talking 'freezer bags' and I'm talking 'storage bags' I can live with that, so low and behold a week or so later I received a letter from The Clorox Sales Company repeating their sorrow over my dilemma and please find the coupon for "1 box GLAD Twist-Tie Food Storage Bags 1gal up to 100 ct". This was less than I was expecting as, if I wanted twist tie storage bags I would go over to the produce section and get as many as I wanted! 

Well I sent them a response to the coupon...

This is kinda funny. I sent an email about a box of 1 gal zip-lock storage bags that wouldn't close, the zip strips didn't line up. I then received an e-mail about the Freezer bag problem, no big deal, I then received a coupon for a box of "Twist-Tie Food Storage Bags". That's great except I don't use them I use the zip-lock kind! Can you fix this?

Thank-you for your time, Jim 

A couple of days later I got another email from Amelia:

Reference Number: 6333422

Dear Mr. Sartain,

Thank you for contacting us about your Glad Freezer Bags. We always appreciate hearing from our consumers.

I apologize.  I can and I will!  You can expect to receive the right coupon in the next 7-10 business days.  I accept total blame as I enclosed the wrong coupon.  I am sorry that you had to email me back. Have a great Thanksgiving! 

Again, thank you for contacting us.

Sincerely,

Amelia Miller

Consumer Response Representative

Consumer Services

Still hung up on those Freezer bags But I feel good that this game is almost over.

Well today I got another letter from the Clorox Sales Co.

November 18,2010

Reference Number: 6333422

Dear Mr. Sartain,

Thank you for contacting us about your Glad Freezer Bags. We always appreciate

hearing from our customers.

We're sorry to hear about the zipper not lining up correctly. Please be assured that this is

very unusual and we would not expect this to occur. We are happy to enclose a coupon

for reimbursement. We certainly hope you will continue to use and have confidence in 

our products.

Again, thank you for contacting us.

Sincerely,

Amelia Miller

Consumer Response Representative

Consumer Services

Enclosure: Coupon

Inside there was a coupon for:

1 box GLAD Zipper Freezer Bags any size up to 50ct

Should I tell them the original box was 100?

WTF

In a weak moment of nostalgia I bought two Swanson Hungry-Man turkey dinners, one for me and one for the Darling Rebecca. As a kid I thought they we're pretty good, sliced turkey, moist dressing with ample gravy and for desert a cranberry apple thing with a chewy crust. Doesn't that sound good?

Well I'm not a kid anymore and this ain't the same dinner!

When I opened the box I found a new dining experience was waiting for me. The turkey is now 'flaked and formed' the gravy didn't cover the most of the turkey and very little of the stuffing and the cranberry apple thing had no crust. Well I had gone this far so I cooked it up.

Because the gravy didn't cover the dressing it turned into kind of a dried up kibble and the turkey was not enough for a decent sandwich though it did look like it came from the the deli section of the grocery store, the cranberry stuff was so thin I couldn't get it out of the little section it was in, the fruit was easy to get out because there was so little of it.

Well I went to their web site and posted a complaint about the dinner. I told them in detail what I found wrong with the dinner and asked them where I could send the second dinner I had bought as I had no intention of eating it. The reply was not quite what I expected...

Reference #: 9131779

Dear Valued Consumer,

Thank you for taking the time to contact Consumer Relations regarding your recent purchase of Hungry Man Turkey Dinner. Please be assured that the experience you shared with us does not meet the high quality standards we have for all of our products.

I am sending replacement coupons in the mail that you should be receiving in seven to ten business days to replace those meals.

We take great pride in the quality of our products and ensuring consumer satisfaction is our greatest concern. We have taken the liberty of sharing your insight with our Quality Assurance management team so they can incorporate your experience into their ongoing improvement processes. We are always grateful when loyal consumers such as you take the time to communicate their experience so that we have the opportunity to investigate.

Sincerely,

Sara Allen
Consumer Relations Representative

A few days later I got a nice letter and two coupons for new Hungry-Man dinners ($3.99 maximum value) I still have the "dinner" in the freezer in the garage and there it will stay.

In their defence I will say the corn was great!